


I See the Darkness That Is Haloed In Your Eyes

by Emono



Series: Monsters-R-Us [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Domestic, Emono Does Halloween Right, M/M, Mild Gore, Murder, Psychoteeth, Rough Sex, Shameless Ryan worship, Shameless Smut, They're engaged and it's adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 07:29:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2539463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emono/pseuds/Emono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is just an everyday IT worker with a sexy, older fiance that he loves with everything he has. But, like everyone, he has some bad habits. Like murder. When it causes trouble in his pre-marital life, how will they work past it? Is Geoff worth smothering his urges?</p><p>Answer: Of course he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I See the Darkness That Is Haloed In Your Eyes

**A character dies, but not explicitly and it's not the main couple and this is an AU, so..enjoy?**

 

* * *

 

 

All he could taste was the cheap rope between his teeth and the salt of his own tears. He hadn’t been able to stop crying since he’d woken up alone in the bedroom. Gavin could remember the smoky atmosphere of the bar and the bitter hops on the back of his mouth, the cool blue gaze of his admirer and the warmth of a hand between his shoulder blades. The man had been the very definition of charming and he’d instantly fallen in love, half-formed daydreams of white picket fences and adopting a small herd of dogs floating around his head as they got to know each other. There had been something different about his beer when he’d gotten back from the bathroom.

 

The oldest trick in the playbook had snagged him. “Why don’t we head back to my place and drink for free?”

 

Gavin’s memory was fuzzy between then and now but he could remember blinking into the shadowed back of a van. Streetlights passing through the window, coils of rope and a jack set scattered in front of him. He’d tried to sit up but his limbs had been heavy, his mind fuzzy, and his tongue too numb to scream for help.

 

Now he was in someone’s home. The same rope that was tied tight to the back of his head and burning between his teeth was binding his wrists behind him at a painful angle. His clothes were still on, thank God, but his shoes had been removed and another twine of rope caught his ankles together. He couldn’t run. Shit, he could barely squirm. Though his eyes stung with misery and saline, he managed to get a good look of the room. It was sparse and middle class, the bed he was on stripped to just sheets. He shifted and it crinkled loudly. _Is there plastic under here? God, please, no. Where the hell am I?_

 

The door opened. Gavin held his breath, trying to pretend to be asleep, but he couldn’t shut his eyes. The guy from the bar with the nice handshake and beautiful eyes – _I’m Ryan, nice to meet you_ – walked in and it felt like a punch to the gut. The almost-shy and endearing expression was erased and replaced with a feral grin. There was something shadowed on his handsome face, something dark that wasn’t there before. If he would’ve looked and carried himself like that, in the bar then Gavin would’ve run the other direction. The door was closed behind him with suspiciously little noise.

 

“Gavin,” Ryan greeted lowly, walking over to the bed and kneeling beside him. More tears slipped down the Brit’s face as the man brought out a dark case and set it on the low table, flicking the latches and revealing shining tools of a vast variety. “Do you like them? They were a gift. Surgical steel. I used to be quite messy but these babies have really steadied my hand.” A blonde brow raised at him. “I told you at the bar I missed my calling for med school, didn’t I? I never told you why.”

 

Gavin shook his head, begging muffled behind the rope. It flooded his mouth with bitter adhesive and made him cringe. The mirth left Ryan’s face and he grabbed the boy by the hair, roughly shoving his face down against the sheet. The strange give under his cheek and nose told him there was indeed plastic under him. _God, why?_ He tried to suck in air past the rope and the sheet but it was hard to get anything in his straining lungs. The man leaned down close to him, breath puffing across his ear. “Shut up, you little fuck. There are people trying to sleep.”

 

_This bloke is fucking mental._

 

“I haven't gotten around to soundproofing this room, so if you start squawking I’m going to put duct tape over that rope and you'll barely be able to breathe, do you understand?”

 

Gavin went ice cold at the first threat of true violence. He could feel a sweat break out across his back and nape, stomach up in knots. He nodded slowly and got a heavy pat on the head. “There’s a good boy.” Ryan went back to the tools and started picking through them, brow furrowed as if trying to decide. “Now that you’re being good, do you want to hear the rest?”

 

Gavin nodded again despite the fact that he didn’t give a rat’s ass about the rest of this crazy fucker’s story. Pacification could be a good distraction. He silently tried to work his wrists free but he kept his shoulder movement to a minimum.

 

“The professors in med school, the doctors forging a new generation of healers, they are no joke,” Ryan continued, the first etches of his plan coming together. “They saw through me from the beginning. I suppose I shouldn’t be upset to have such astute teachers creating the doctors that could one day save my life, but being reduced to another faceless IT desk jockey has left me somewhat bitter. I’m sure you can understand wasted potential, can’t you? All that slow-motion skill and no one to appreciate it?”

 

Gavin cursed himself for oversharing. He’d always been a sucker for a few beers and a pair of blue eyes.

 

“But I see you, Gavin,” Ryan promised, slipping a surgical mask behind his ears before snapping on a pair of white gloves. “I admire you. Worthless as you are, your disvalue is what I savor most in my friends. Their worthlessness makes this all the easier. And your pretty emerald eyes, these mile long legs…” The covered hand slid over the curve of his thigh and he tried to jerk away. “They will make this all the _sweeter_.”

 

Gavin managed a strained _no!_ and tried to wiggle toward the other edge of the bed, hoping to fall to the floor and maybe roll under the bed to give himself a minute to try and detangle the rope. Ryan snarled and dug his fingers hard into the boy’s arm, flipping him over on his belly before straddling his lower legs. Gavin couldn’t help the chorus of whimpers that escaped his throat as the weight of the other man pinned him down. Ryan was all fluid grace as he leaned over to slip a curved blade out of the box. Gavin strained his neck to watch its descent and whined when he could no longer see it but _feel_ it. The point rested along the slope of his shoulder blade, dancing up and down in the twisted imitation of a caress. His muscles instinctively tried to twitch away from the threat but he had no leverage in his vulnerable position.

 

“You will be a fine little outlet,” Ryan murmured fondly. He could feel the man’s gaze burning down the slope of his back, the knife digging harder with every swipe. “A way to cleanse myself of all this _anger_.” The tip of the blade cut through his shirt and the ripping sound sent frizzles of nerves through his skin. “So I can be _normal_.” It started to twirl and the soft _pop_ of flesh giving way was like a gunshot in Gavin’s ears. “It’s so easy. People like you…you have no idea how good you have it. You can walk around every day without this disgust burning away at you, this _loathing_ for every other living soul.”

 

The first real swipe of the blade took a moment to sting but once the pain kicked in the Brit writhed.

 

“You’re all so boring. And _lucky_.”

 

Fingers stroked through his hair and the man’s tone changed. “But you’ll be good for me, won’t you Gavin? You’ll let me do what I need to do. You’ll be a good little sacrifice for me.”

 

Gavin spat _get fucked_ past the rope and a palm slapped on his temple, the heel grinding down hard enough to make his head throb. His entire body seized as the knife started slipping inside him, bile burning the back of his throat as the sensation of his flesh yielding hit him. The pain came quick and hot and he screamed for help into the gag. The sound cut off sharply when Ryan leaned more weight on the side of his head. The lack of give in the bed sent needles through his jaw. The five points of pressure from Ryan’s fingers felt like they were strong enough to crack his skull open.

 

“You know what I did to the last naughty boy I picked up from the bar?” Ryan fisted his hair and yanked his head back so he could see the man’s blazing eyes. “I cut out his insolent tongue. I carved cute little horns into his forehead and a nice tail down his back. He had thicker thighs than yours. They were nice and plush but barely bled at all. He was a little shit and I made him good. I kept him alive much longer than the others. He got to see his own liver before he slipped away. He looked surprised by how healthy it was.” The playful notes returned. “He was much more beautiful than you but harder to obtain. He fought me to the end.”

 

The knife slid free from his shoulder and Gavin sighed in relief, droplets of sweat trickling through his hair and down his neck. “I still dream of him.”

 

His forehead smacked against the bed as he was released. “I won’t dream of you.”

 

Gavin grunted that he didn’t give a shit but the words were muffled and tears still leaked down his cheeks, soaking into the rope. He thought of some other poor boy lying where he was, lured in by Ryan’s honey-sweet drawl and promises of a good time. It made him sick and the gush of his own blood across his shoulder made it that much worse.

 

“The kid before that wasn’t exactly pretty but I remember he had soft hair, and nice eye behind his glasses,” Ryan hushed, cutting a shallow line along the Brit’s other shoulder for symmetry. “He was _so_ good for me. I sliced him some wings for him and a halo. I got to test the give of a human scapula…and the strength of my bone saw.”

 

Gavin choked hard and it was like a crack in the dam. He had a bad gag reflex to begin with and it was a miracle the taste and pressure of the rope on his tongue hadn’t made him vomit all over himself. The only thing that stopped him now was the knowledge that if he did he would probably drown in it. The thought alone made him choke again but he somehow managed to keep it all down.

 

“What do you fear most, boy?” Ryan rumbled, letting his thumbs rub along the edges of the only two wounds he’d inflicted. “Is it pain?” He dug in harder until he heard a whine. Not what he wanted. “Humiliation?” He tucked two fingers into the rope and pulled. Saliva trickled down dark pink lips and down into his sparse beard, plopping thickly onto the sheet. He heard the boy gag loudly again. _Not quite there yet._

 

“Violation?” he purred, heavy fingers curling along the curve of his ass. Gavin whimpered and tried to wiggle away but he was stuck under the man’s weight. “Ah, there it is.” He trailed his hand between the boy’s legs and ran along the swell of his sack through his jeans, making sure to drag hard along his cleft. Tiny, submissive moans of horror leaked past the gag. “Does the thought of rape make your stomach bottom out? The thought that I could do whatever I wanted to you and no one could stop me, least of all you…” He ran both gloved hands down his thighs and felt them tremble. “Has your blood gone cold? Or is the horror _hot_ in your gut?”

 

Gavin sobbed openly as the hands ran up the length of his body and started to curl around his neck, pressing down with the intent to cut off his air. “I could carve out a new hole, make a proper woman out of you.”

 

The boy screamed in horror behind his gag and it was music to his ears.

 

“Can you taste it yet, Gavin? I think you can. I think you're ready for-”

 

The door opened again and Gavin let loose a long, whimpering cry at the thought of being saved. He raised his head and started screaming for help (the single word making it past the rope) but stopped when he saw how _calm_ the intruder was. The man was older than them both with a dark, unkept beard and tired eyes that had purple, sleepless smudges beneath them. He was wearing a hoodie and sweats, barefoot even, with tattoos along his fingers and peeking out wherever skin showed. He was normal, just a middle aged guy, and it made his heart sink.

  
Ryan sat back on his heels and the shift of weight let Gavin flip onto his back, hiding his hands and getting a better view of the room. Ryan plucked his mask down around his neck to show off a warm, loving smile while the other hand tucked away the silver knife under the fold of the sheets. “Baby, I almost didn't think you were home. Did you go out with Jack?”

 

Gavin’s lips were swollen and rubbed raw by his gag but he still managed to gape. The sweet tone was different from what he’d heard at the bar. It was more sincere. Those seductive and terrifying eyes were now glowing, sun shining out of them and through his happy smile.

 

“I just woke up,” the man’s voice was gruff.

 

“I’m sorry, Geoff,” Ryan apologized quickly, “I tried to keep it down.”

 

This ‘Geoff’ didn’t look too happy. His arms crossed over his chest, muscle bulging from beneath his loose sleeves. “So this is where you were…”

 

“I thought since you were out at the bar, I would be too.” Ryan's voice began to wither under the older man's stern gaze. “I...I know I usually I call you but I didn't want to bother you. You hardly ever go out and I didn't want to interrupt.”

 

“Jack and I had drinks Thursday,” Geoff stated slowly, announcing each syllable with barely contained anger.

 

Gavin whined when Ryan sat fully back and looked at his watch with a furrowed brow. Horror slowly dawned on the blonde man's face. “Fuck, its Friday. We had a dinner date.”

 

“This is the second time in two weeks, Ryan,” Geoff huffed with pursed lips, feet wide apart in a powerful stance. “I traded my shift at the shop to have a whole evening off. I spent two hours cooking, you fucking asshole. I felt like a fucking idiot waiting up for you. I would've thought you were hurt if I didn't notice the van was gone.”

 

Ryan frowned deeply, “Geoff...”

 

“You were at a bar picking up some twink while I was here feeling stupid? Typical,” Geoff spat, disappointment and hurt on his face. “You forgot all about me.”

 

“No, wait!” Ryan tore off his gloves and stumbled off the bed, going up to the man and trying to take his hand. Geoff refused and the blonde dropped to his knees, wrapping his big arms around the other's waist and nuzzling his stomach. The older man held off at first but eventually relented and laced tattooed fingers through soft hair.

 

Gavin kept begging weakly for help, for it all to be over, tears almost obscuring his vision as his lithe chest heaved.

 

“I could never forget about you,” Ryan swore fiercely, keeping his cheek pressed to the older man's covered belly while he stole an inked hand and pressed kisses against it. “I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. I was feeling off and I lost track of time, the days...I should've paid more attention.”

 

The rest of his begging was too quiet for Gavin to hear. The scene was creepily domestic and the psychotic asshole who had drugged him had turned into a puppy, nuzzling and whining almost wordlessly now for forgiveness. The boy worked on his gag and his wrists. Though his arms seemed to have twisted up even tighter, the knot at the back of his head was coming loose.

 

Ryan suddenly shot up and kissed the man's cheek, their beards scraping together. “Let me take care of this and we can have the whole night together.”

 

Geoff sighed heavily and let his nails drag across the back of the other's neck. “We need to have a talk, is what we need to do.”

 

The knot finally gave and Gavin worked the rope out of his mouth, gasping loudly. “Help me! Please! Geoff? Geoff, please, he's bloody mental! He drugged me and I-I just want to go _ho-home_.” His words broke into a blubbering sob, fat tears rolling down his face and getting caught in the golden bristles on his chin. “Don't l-leave me here.”

 

Geoff finally looked at him, really looked at him, and Gavin dared to feel relief. But that watery gaze turned ice-cold and one word was spat out before his gaze turned back to Ryan. “Pity.”

 

“He doesn't mean anything,” he heard Ryan confess in a heartfelt whisper. “You know they never do.”

 

“Fucking hurry up,” Geoff demanded, pushing the blonde away and leaving the room. Ryan nodded quickly, determination written all over his face as he put back on his mask and grabbed a fresh pair of gloves. He grabbed the edge of the sheet and Gavin yelped as he rolled carelessly until he smacked along the plastic lining. The blade that had been hidden earlier cut along his calf but the sudden sting was nothing compared to the look in the older man's face.

 

What had been delight and maybe even madness earlier was now cool resolve.

 

“Get on your stomach.”

 

Gavin shook his head, breath hitching loudly.

 

“I don't have time for this.” There was nothing hateful in his tone, only agitation. Gavin was hooked under the hip and tossed on his front again. He could taste blood and wet fiber from his flaking lips and he tried to work out pleas through his sharp weeping. He begged for mercy – from God or Ryan, it was unsure.

 

“I h-have money. I can get more. I have friends, and my mum-”

 

Ryan slapped a hand down on his forehead and bent his head back. “Oh shut up and try not to bleed on everything.”

 

The blade was mercifully sharp.

 

o0o

 

Geoff scrubbed a hand over his face and slumped into the well-worn material of their couch, legs sprawled out carelessly, an arm slung over the back. He was shaking off the cobwebs of sleep. He hadn't been asleep too long before he heard the noise from the other side of the house. Instead of Ryan working late or being in trouble, he'd been out trolling the bars again. He hated to be angry over it but it was the second time their at-home dinner plans had been interrupted due to his fiancé’s _urges_. They hadn't had one night to themselves since they bought the house and he'd hoped to break it in with a large, home cooked meal. Steaks and grilled vegetables and the marinade that Ryan loved. A real feast.

 

_Speak of the devil._

 

The guest room door came open and said man stepped out. Geoff knew that look too well. He'd been with Ryan for three years, on and off for the first year or so (though they constantly fell into bed just trying to be friends), and he knew what the man looked like only half-satisfied. The shadowy tension in his fiancé was still swirling just below his skin. There were only a few obvious solutions to fix it. He should've been disgusted, any right-minded man would be, but he felt a disturbing amount of apathy. It was just a hobby for his partner and he didn't care about it anymore than he cared about knitting.

 

Ryan approached him almost shyly, hands smoothing his shirt and fiddling with the hem in a nervous tick. He was a sight to see – swept back hair, dazzling blue eyes, broad shoulders. Geoff didn't say anything for fear of it being something nasty. His fiancé dropped to his knees between his sprawled legs, smiling just in the sheer joy to see him, big hands settling on the older man's thighs.

 

“I know you're upset with me. I deserve it.” Ryan's voice was low and slow with a hint of his old drawl, something more than regret coloring his tone. “We've both been busy with work and the house and everything.” He started rubbing his the other's thighs. “I'm sorry I missed our dinner.”

 

“It's not one or two, it's a dozen missed dinners,” Geoff pointed out maybe a little too harshly. “You've been _preoccupied_.” He shoved the man's tempting hands off his legs. “I told you when we started this – the day you picked them over me was the day I walked.”

 

His fiancé’s lips formed a tight, white line. “I will _never_ pick them. You are the most important thing to me.”

 

“I'd like to see you prove it once in a while, asshole,” Geoff remarked with a heavy dose of bitterness. He could still remember how rotten he'd felt sitting in the middle of the kitchen just looking at the clock waiting for the other to call. And just last week he'd come home with two armfuls of groceries and the idea of a big meal only to find Ryan just getting started with some loud brat. He'd refused to listen to himself be actively ignored and had gone out to get plastered at the nearest bar. When he'd returned, Ryan had looked at him like he was looking at him now, full of love and devotion. Somehow that made it worse.

 

He pulled himself out of his musing when his fiancé’s fingers started working at his fly. The silver gleam of their engagement rings met as Geoff tried to weakly push him away. Ryan shushed him in that sugar sweet way that made it hard to resist. “Let me show you how much you mean to me. Let me prove I'm picking you.”

 

Geoff huffed as his jeans and boxers were pulled down to mid-thigh. Ryan dove right in and slipped the older man's limp cock into his mouth, suckling gently at the soft skin. Geoff tried to resist, he really did, but his fiancé knew that flicking his strong tongue against his piercing was the quickest way to get him hard. The barbell was swirled through the head of his cock and the slight rasp flesh against metal inside him sent blood rushing south. He looked down at Ryan's face and wondered not for the first time how he had caught someone so handsome. The start of a strawberry blonde beard spread across chiseled cheeks, gold-spun lashes resting contently, and the look of bliss topped it all off. Geoff's head fell back against the couch as he started really filling up the man's mouth, growing hot and thick between wet lips and careful teeth.

 

“My eager little cocksucker,” Geoff cursed under his breath, holding onto the other's shoulder as he slowly started to roll up into the contact. “You can't fix everything with sex, Rye.”

 

Ryan hummed and started bobbing, mouth sliding smoothly up and down as his tongue worked wetly over the flesh. The pierced head plumped up and started hooking hard with every drag, a sensation that used to choke Ryan back when they first stared but now felt more like a pacifier, grounding him. He wrapped his swelling lips around it, twirling the piercing and hitting the every cluster of nerves that hid beneath the rim.

 

Geoff threaded his fingers through blonde hair and thrust up, his fiancé taking him down his throat with ease. They had been together a long time, Ryan must have known he was going to fuck into his throat the moment he was fully hard. He groaned loudly as the man's talented mouth settled around the base of his cock, nose nuzzling into dark curls, saliva dripping down onto his balls. He was ready to start a punishing, face-fucking rhythm when he felt something tacky slide between two of his fingers. The sensation got wet quickly and he ripped back his hand.

 

“Motherfucker!” Geoff cursed, shoving the other away with a fierce grunt. Ryan yelped and fell back on his ass, brow pinched and cock straining against his jeans. He was a flushed, confused mess and he looked to his finance with a befuddled frown.

 

“Geoff?”

 

He hauled up his pants and got to his feet, holding out his stained hand. “There's blood in your hair.”

 

Ryan blinked slowly before reaching up and touching his head, his own fingertips coming away red. “Oh. I must have missed some.”

 

“This is the shit I was talking about,” Geoff bitched as he headed to the kitchen. “It's just one more way you let them come between us.”

 

Ryan got up and started to follow him but one quick glare stopped him in his tracks.

 

“Just go make sure that entire fucking room is spotless,” Geoff demanded hotly, turning the sink on as hot as possible. “And take a fucking shower. I just...I can't look at you right now.”

 

If he would've turned around he would've seen the crestfallen expression on the man's face. He waited until he heard Ryan walk away before he slumped against the counter. “God damn it.”

 

He needed to get the supplies from the bedroom.

 

o0o

 

Ryan turned the shower on as hot as he could stand and waited for the room to fill with steam before he stepped inside. He hissed at the initial burn but quickly grew accustomed. The pain felt cleansing and he dunked his head under, scalp prickling and flesh blooming red. He went through the motions of scrubbing himself down with soap and shampooing his hair. Some pink water trickled past his bare feet and his toes curled through it.

 

Ryan tilted back his head and let the spray spatter against his teeth, filling up his mouth and stinging his tongue. He closed his eyes and imagined it to be flesh, hot and solid under his lips, and then spat out the water. Despite the heat and the lapse of time, his cock was hard between his legs and stuck out like it wanted attention. He wrapped a hand around the length and tried to tug for some relief but quickly let go when he realized it hardly felt good. He wanted Geoff and nothing else would do. He'd been turned on since he saw his fiancé standing in the door and had barely wilted under his wrath.

 

Restless and frustrated, he flicked off the taps.

 

o0o

 

There were two things that truly calmed Ryan down – a good kill and a good fuck. Geoff knew he had stolen one from his fiancé so he would give him the other. They were both still riled up from that blowjob and he was already too awake to go back to sleep. That, and the thirst he had for the blonde's body was never quenched.

 

Geoff pushed open the door to their spare room and watched his partner putter around. The mattress was bare and the opaque plastic that had been on it was now wrapped tight around a long form laid against the wall. On top was the neatly folded sheet that would be burned later in their fireplace. There was another pile beside it with a slim fitting plastic suit, gloves, and the surgical mask he saw in his nightmares.

 

Ryan was standing beside the bed with his tool kit spread open at the bottom of the mattress. He was spraying sanitizer and wiping each one with a cool expression. His poor skin was blotchy and raw, drying bangs flopping over his forehead and lips chewed up. Geoff would often tease his lover about his nervous habit but now it just made his heart pang in sympathy.

 

Ryan glanced over at him nervously but kept cleaning up, hands a little less steady under the other’s gaze. Geoff let his gaze linger over the younger man’s form. He often worked out at home and would hit the occasional gym and it showed with the swell of muscle under his sleeves and along his thighs. There was a middle age softness sneaking around his middle and his hands twitched with the urge to squeeze it and feel the give under his fingers. Geoff had hit forty earlier this year and his partner was only five years behind, though the younger had to wear glasses while his own vision was damn near perfect. Those shoulders were perfect too grab on to or hook his knees over, and that tongue perfect on the end of his cock or swirling around his hole.

 

But they fit together in other ways too. Ryan couldn’t cook while Geoff could and he thoroughly enjoyed feeding his fiancé after a long day. Ryan was a wiz with a computer and could repair things around the house with his deft fingers. Geoff was an artist with tattoo ink and a sketchpad, the garden more his domain. They liked each other’s twisted sense of humor and enjoyed the same old style of video games. Their bodies slotted together perfectly, next to each other on the couch or tangled in the sheets – it didn’t matter. They spilled coffee on one another and ate breakfast in bed and would go bike riding when the weather was clear enough. They were a damn perfect couple, stupidly in love and beyond ready to exchange rings in the eyes of the law.

 

Geoff waited until the case was latched and put under the bed before he pressed up behind his fiancé. “You shouldn’t hurt yourself like this.” He rubbed his knuckles along the man’s face. “Look at your cheeks.”

 

Ryan leaned into hand, touch starved. “It doesn’t hurt.”

 

“Not anymore, I’m sure,” Geoff mused, the friction of his boxers only reminding him how turned on he was. “You still want to get fucked?”

 

Ryan’s eager reply and harsh kisses led him to being put on his elbows and knees, shirt rucked up under his arms and forearms bracing his weigh. Geoff had a hand braced on his partner’s lower back and three fingers buried deep inside his fluttering hole, lube dribbling down and beading thickly on the bare mattress. He hadn’t been gentle in his prep, working up to three fingers after just one, drizzling slick to make it all go smoothly. The intensity of the burn had brought up a few unheeded tears that made those gold lashes _sparkle_ but Geoff refused to slow down. There was no mercy in the way he drove inside him, every thrust forcing those strong thighs and the smooth curves of his ass to bounce enticingly. He teased the rim with his thumb just to make the man’s legs shake.

 

Ryan took it with grateful moans, sweating and trembling with pleasure as he was. He loved being used like this. His cock drooled near his stomach at the prospect of being an instrument for Geoff’s pleasure, a vessel for his seed, and he got off being reduced to a tight hole to fuck. When long fingers pulled free he clenched around nothing, excitement buzzing in his chest and gut as he thought of having his lover’s thick cock carving him open.

 

He picked up his head and looked over his shoulder when he heard when he heard an unfamiliar crinkle. His lips pulled in a deep frown and he whimpered in the back of his throat when he caught sight of what the other was ripping open. “No, Geoff, please. I want to feel it.”

 

“You’ll feel it,” Geoff grunted as he slid the condom over his cock, laying a last line of lube over the covered flesh. “Every inch.”

 

Ryan shook his head. “Don’t use a rubber, please. I said I was sorry.” He tried to smooth over his rough tone, arching his hips up higher to show himself off. “Don’t you want to feel me too? It’s not nearly as good, baby, you know it’s not. It’ll be so much hotter if – no, _please_.” He broke off into a whine when his lover shoved a hand to his hair and pressed his cheek to the bed. It was strangely similar to how he’d treated the British twink earlier and the parallel made him even harder.

 

He hated using protection, they both did. Feeling the warm splash of Geoff’s cum was one of the closest experiences to meditation he’d ever get. Those seconds were truly blissful and he craved them like almost nothing else. His fiancé only denied him that luxury when he was truly upset. So Ryan gave in with a last small sound of protest because he knew he’d fucked up, he knew how angry the other man truly was, and he wanted forgiveness.

 

The first full thrust of Geoff’s cock made him ache deep inside but he didn’t have time to linger on it with fast, rough rhythm that was set. It was a deep rut, a mindless strain for pleasure and to release tension. Sweat poured down inked skin, the grind of wet skin-on-skin sure to leave irritated marks later. They both had incredible stamina that had led long, tantric sex that had left them too exhausted to move afterward. They’d fucked nearly every day their first year together, jobs and friends be damned, and the second hadn’t been much better. Lately it had been slowing down with things coming up and certain activities taking place more often than not. With the tension between them so thick and Geoff’s anger making every thrust sharp, the two of them couldn’t last long.

 

It was Ryan’s own climax that set him off. It wasn’t just the grip of his hole but the familiar broken cry of his usually smooth voice splintering under the pressure of his sudden release. The sound was so human, all off-pitch and breathy. It reminded him that his fiancé was human.

 

Geoff grunted as he spilled into the condom with one last grind, gritting his teeth and wishing he was filling his lover properly. Ryan must have thought the same because he whined quietly while panting into the bed, clenching to make himself tight for the older man. Geoff slumped along his back, spent. Their knees gave out and they laid there one on top of the other, messy and trying to catch their breath as they recovered from their orgasms.

 

The angst and sadness from earlier returned and Geoff folded just enough to lay his left hand along the other’s. Their simple rings looked so _right_ next to each other. Ryan smiled in relief, thinking their fight was over, and nuzzled the sides of their hands.

 

“I know you’ve called off work the past three days.”

 

The statement hit the silence so hard it almost knocked the breath out of Ryan. He went dead still under his fiancé, refusing to make a sound even at the loss of Geoff’s softening cock slipping out of his hole. The older man half sat up and stared down at his lover, the gaze intense and pinning him far more than his weight did. Ryan couldn’t look at him. Instead he stared at his engagement ring and desperately wished their hands were laced again.

 

“Tonight was an accident,” Ryan murmured pitifully.

 

“It’s always an accident. That's the problem.” Geoff radiated disappointment and the younger man practically crumbled under it. He hated to see such a strong, collected man look so defeated but it had to be done. This couldn’t fester between them. It wasn’t healthy. “We’re going to be behind in our first house payment.”

 

Ryan’s eyes closed as grief washed through him. He’d promised to pay his half, to stop calling off work to hunt and only do it on the weekends when he had time. That was part of the deal they’d made when Ryan had proposed to the man he loved and declared that they should move in together.

 

“I called the realtor and we have four weeks to back out and get most of our money returned,” Geoff continued, heart so heavy it felt like it would fall out. He got off the younger man and grabbed his boxers to yank them on. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall as he tried to urge himself to say his decision. “If something different doesn’t happen before that then I’m packing my stuff up and moving back to my old apartment. And if I have to move out, James, then the wedding’s off.”

 

Ryan sat up and stared in shock as the other got up and left the room, leaving him behind without a second glance. His mouth quivered as he tried to hold back the instant flood of tears but it was hard with how bruised his heart felt. The pleasurable tingle he’d gotten from release was gone now and replaced with a melancholy that left him lead-limbed.

 

Staring idly at the wrapped up corpse next to the wall, Ryan struggled with a decision.

 

o0o

 

Geoff woke up from his light doze when the bedroom door opened. He rolled onto his back and waited, eyes closed and arm tossed carelessly over his head. He wouldn’t kick Ryan out of his bed but he really didn’t feel like dealing with the issue anymore. He felt wrung out and just too _tired_. Hurting his fiancé like that was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. Maybe it was a cheap ploy, maybe he was being an asshole, but he didn’t know what else to do. He listened to Ryan get undressed and he imagined that he could see it – the plane of his chest, the dark nipples that had puckered so obediently under his fingers, the subtle curve of his body from hip to shoulder that drove him crazy with lust since the moment they met.

 

His Ryan. So incredibly smart but so stupid with small things like social cues and how to keep pasta from over boiling. The man had a grapeshot laugh straight out of a villain soundbite stockpile. It would be intimidating if it wasn’t always so full of delight. That bright, chubby cheeked smile and the way he’d wink at him in public…Geoff wondered if he’d ever stood a chance against falling in love with a man like that.

 

The bed dipped under Ryan’s weight but then stopped, the covers shifting so that the cooled air met the older man’s feet. Geoff’s eyes popped open in the darkened room with a curious frown. His fiancé crawled up the length of his body and peppered kisses as he went, thick fingers fanning out across his heart. Geoff went stiff but only for a moment. _He’d never hurt me_. The blanket swelled as Ryan slid up to kiss over the thudding organ, bristled cheek rubbing against the skin and making it tingle.

 

“I’m going to take a second job.” The words were almost muted under the covers.

 

Geoff peeled back the blankets and looked into his fiancé’s face. “Rye…”

 

“I’m not going to call off anymore, and I’m going to find something I can do at home,” Ryan promised with a kiss to the nearest tattoo. “I’ll set up as an online assistant or start pimping out my skills at web design for Indie bands. I don’t care if it’s a sex phone operator, I’m going to find _something_ tomorrow and we’ll make every payment from here on out.”

 

Geoff sighed as some of the pressure around his heart relieved. “That’s not what this is about.”

 

“And I’ll stop doing this on week days.”

 

He ran his fingers through fine, blonde hair. “You said that last time.”

 

“I mean it.” Ryan leaned into the touch like a cat. “I want to cut it down to once a month. One weekend out of four and the rest will be for us.”

 

Geoff chewed at his lower lip. “Don’t do that…I know it’s important…”

 

“Not as important as you,” Ryan proclaimed, moving up to cup his fiancé’s head and bump their noses. “I love you, Geoff, more than anything. I won’t hurt you like this again. I can be thoughtless but this was too much.” He buried his face in the older man’s neck with a sudden insecurity. When Geoff laid a hand on his back he could feel the minute shivers working all through him. He felt like the lowest scum for putting his partner through this.

 

“Babe, come on, don’t cry.”

 

“Don’t leave me, Geoff,” Ryan rasped, the desperation in his voice shocking the older man down to his core. It sounded like something between a wounded animal and a frantic predator. _Is this what he sounds like when he kills? Is this the last thing those kids hear?_ “I-I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 

Geoff dropped kisses in his hair and hugged him, rolling the two of them so they faced each other side by side. Once more there were tears clinging to his fiancé’s lashes but there was something else deep in those eyes, something he didn’t want to poke at. They kissed slowly and Geoff promised him he wasn’t going anywhere and that he just needed Ryan to see how serious this was.

 

“We made a commitment, Rye. We’re going to get married and the money will be _ours_. I’ll fall headfirst into debt with you if that’s what’s going to happen, babe, but if I can save us that trouble then I will.” He smoothed back blonde bang and beamed into his somber face. “Unless you want to just say fuck it all right now, buy a gypsy wagon, and start touring the country on horseback selling snake oil and shit?”

 

Ryan finally broke a smile and declared that it wouldn’t be a half bad idea.

 

They lost themselves in a relieved kiss but a small question stuck in the back of Geoff’s mind.

 

_How many people would die if I left him?_

 

* * *

 

**Happy Halloween! If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it, thank you for reading!**

**Feedback is much appreciated and helps me keep writing. So drop a comment, shoot me an[ask or something](http://emono-omae.tumblr.com/) and we can gush about ideas or just make my day. Maybe reblog [the gifset](http://emono-omae.tumblr.com/post/101392780266/ryan-is-just-an-everyday-it-worker-with-a-sexy) if you like the fic to help me get the dark Ramwood love out there?**

 

 


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